Yeah, so I’m still in Ethiopia and I have a pretty strong feuling for this post: beware – yet another rant (though calmer than most) awaits.
I’ve met my fair share of awful people. And I know more of them await (due to the fact that I’m 15 and basically know nothing in the grand scheme of things), and I plan to face them all with the same attitude…except if they happen to be a re-incarnarion of Mandela of some sort – may his soul forever be at never ending peace.
Anyway, on to today’s subject matter: the douchebag.
Who, and or what, is the douchebag, and where does it/ this person come from?
Prime example of the day: I have a friend. Her name is Jenna, and she’s in my ballet class. We don’t go to the same school, and only see each other about 3 times a week when I can make class.
Jenna went to a party. (Yay parties!) Jenna saw the DJ who just so happened to go to my school. (Yay DJ!) Jenna took a fondness towards said DJ. (Yay fondness?) DJ happened to go to my school. (Yay Northcliff!)
So me being the friend that I am, I tell Jenna I’d find out about this DJ guy. Armed with nothing but the name ‘Andrew’, I set out to find more about this kid.
And then I realised that I knew Andrew. (Yay Andrew?)
(insert rage here)
Andrew once teased one of the less popular girls in his grade, something about her hair being frizzy or something. If you know anything about me, you know that if there’s one thing I can stand in this world, it’s injustice. That includes all type of bullying or mistreating of anyone EVER.
So I, being me, proceeded to publicly push Andrew -note: he stumbled back and shall not quickly forget that he was assaulted in the name of justice and threatened with castration should he try to defeat the ends of justice again- and get this girl away from him.
Jenna’s smart. You can guess that her intrest levels in Mr. Andrew changed rather drastically.
(Negatively, that is.)
Andrew is a prime example of what I’d call a douchebag. Or a douchenozzle, or total idiot, or misguided fool, or…well you get the point.
The douchebag has a stange way of somehow attracting, in this case, many of the fine female species to his douchebaggery ways. This, however, is not adviseable.
DO NOT FALL FOR A DOUCHEBAG
DO NOT LET HIM IN
DO NOT DO NOT DO NOT
(crazy warning moment over)
Look, I don’t have a problem with many people, but if you’re really just an intolerant butt-face who thinks he’s God’s gift to humanity…there’s a problem. How to find out if you’re a douchebag 101, done.
So in conclusion, don’t be awful. I’ll will pull a complete Liam Neeson on you – okay, maybe a half Liam Neeson on you- because I will find you and injure you.
Regardless, if you’re a douchebag, stop and be nice. Chronic Douchebagerry can be treated. If you’re not? Ah, just keep being you, you’re awesome. And I send you tonnes of positive energy because you deserve it. Bwam!
Stay you people, and keep your eyes peeled and brains attentive for the nearest d-bag. Objects in the rear view mirror are closer than they appear, look out.
Can’t wait to be back home in SA!
All my love, all the time,