of a simple human emotion
weighs me down.
Apart from providing you with some beautiful lyrics,I have another task today. It’s day 4 of my 100 happy days, and I’m feeling happy as can be – not really,but I feel alright – but I have something that I really need to get out.
No, it’s not a fart.
Okay, so I’ve been on this planet for almost 16 years and I’ve been impressed by it every day.I know sometimes people say that they’re so sick of the planet and they’d much rather go some place else, but there really isn’t any other place to go as of now. If you’re that person, sit tight and appreciate where you are or try to move planets and suffer the consequences (i.e. death with a side of death).
The basis of the existence of some people, and recently myself, is a war with one’s self. I think the fact that we are human plays a big role in this. I always marvel at the humans’ ability to keep going. They always manage to stagger on – even with tears streaming down their faces.
This ability, I think, lies within emotion. Today I felt things that I would never have thought I would this time last year. I felt pain, but not physical or the usual emotional pain, but pain that comes from being so numb, it hurts. Well,that sounded dramatic! This human emotion thing is really a lot to deal with though.
The thing about these emotions for me is that I’m crazy about them. I’m crazy about hurt, and love, and pain. Not crazy about feeling them, they just fascinate me. I like the idea of different forms of the same emotions, and the way every single person can feel it regardless of who they are or what they’ve been through.
But that’s the thing about the love. It’s not about a boy or a girl or a cat for me, it’s just the love. I’m an addict, and I need my fix. But everyone is out. There is no love for me. None of the love to spare.
I feel that way sometimes. I don’t feel like nobody loves me (I think ermigaaard) or that I have nobody to love, it just feels like it’s run out everywhere. And all the love stores are on a very extended lunch break or are closed until further notice.
So, yes, I feel a little weighed down.
Until happier days, hopefully