Scoot on ~ straight and fast

 

Recently, and I mean four days ago recently, I found out that a book to film adaptation of Looking for Alaska would be made.

Reaction 1: oh

Reaction 2: OHHHH

Recation 3: WHAT EVEN IS THIS LIFE OHHHHHHHHHHH MAAHH GOSH JOHNNNNN

According to Mr. Green himself, he only agreed to the making of the film so that all of us would shut up about TFIOS. Confused? Well, I’m sorry. Google maybe? If, like the majority of the population fortunate enough to know what TFIOS is and what it’s about and have read the book and or seen the film – I’m talking to you!

So Looking for Alaska is p-r-etty amazing, and if the criers cried buckets in TFIOS and if the criers are real people, then every cinema that will show Looking for Alaska, as well as every household containing a human being who will read the book or watch the film should get a sudden supply of mops with the specific purpose to  mop up tears. I feel like that should have been written in code but I’m quite useless at that so NO! 😀

Anyway, one of the taglines for the movie is, “Straight and fast is the only way out.” If you haven’t read the book, I guess you’ll have to interpret that for yourself. If you have, I think you’ll thoroughly understand the intensity of this statement. My intention of this post isn’t entirely clear – not even to myself – so I’m just going with whatever crap  comes to mind. Sorry.

Alaska Young is, in part, the representation of most teenagers. Over 20 per cent of teenagers are depressed and or suffer some sort of mental disorder, with increasing numbers in sociopathic tendencies and eating disorders. Alaska Young? Clearly depressed. Also, clearly brilliant. She has a mind like none other, and a thought process like none other, and she’s brilliant. She thinks screws things up. She leaves the people she leaves behind in a state. She’s powerful beyond measure. She’s deeply hurt. She is, for lack of a more mainstream word, celestial.

She’s probably thinking that she screwed things up with her mom again. And she’s furious and she hates herself, and she
decides, ‘That’s it, I’m doing it,’ and she sees the cop car and there’s her chance and she just floors it.”

After all this time, it still seems to me that straight and fast is the only way out, but I chose the labyrinth. The labyrinth blows,but I choose it.

There’s a way out. Your choice – or at least you think it is.

Straight and fast. Straight. And. Fast. Straight and fast.

-Scoot xx


 

 

JOHN GREEN YOU SICK SICK MARVELOUS AWFUL BRILLIANT HUMAN BEING.

 

My name is Shalom and I am terrified.

I’m scared of everything, of myself, of people, of windows, of mirrors, of rooms, of butterflies, of time.

Just scared.

 

I have severe panic and anxiety attacks that sometimes last for more than three hours.

I can’t do anything because I forget how to breathe. I forget how to function.

 

I can’t sleep and it’s 01:14 AM here is South Africa.

I have two exams tomorrow and my school career is in limbo.

 

I’m terrified, and I keep crying, and I don’t like it.

I keep doing it, and I can’t talk to anyone because sometimes just a person’s mouth moving can send me right into a state of severe panic.

 

I’m terrified.

-Scoot xx

Scoot on ~ why inadequacy is nothing

Strangers, I saw a video. If you are not a stranger, and know me personally, well, I still saw a video.

SHOUT OUT TO TRISTAN ELLIOT FOR SHARING THIS VIDEO ON FACEBOOK AND FOR BEING AWESOME IN GENERAL AND CARING FOR ME DURING DARK DAYS,  LOVE YOU GIRL  ❤

It was a spoken word video that I’m gonna link right here about why exams shouldn’t mean as much to us as they do. I watched it a couple of days ago so I can’t really remember much of it, but what I do remember is that it made me think about how inadequacy is defined in our society. Look, I don’t agree with all of it, but it made sense to me and I’d like to share it.

Firstly:

society
səˈsʌɪɪti/
noun
1.
the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community.
“drugs, crime, and other dangers to society”
2.
an organization or club formed for a particular purpose or activity.
“the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds”
Secondly:
inadequacy
ɪnˈadɪkwəsi/
noun
1.
the state or quality of being inadequate; lack of the quantity or quality required.
“the inadequacy of available resources”
2.
inability to deal with a situation or with life.
“her feelings of personal inadequacy”

Now, let me prepare you for a whole lot of opinion, mainly based on sudden exam realisations and a lack of desire to study a useless subject:
Inadequacy is usually defined by the lack of something in a situation, but in the world of schooling,it is too often defined by the extra opinions, judgments, or decisions of people who will never be directly affected by their words or actions.
Inadequacy is being in the top class and rejoicing at your 50% for maths, or having friends who know what they want to do in life and still being confused, or having your ex boyfriend’s brother proclaim your lack of “good enough-ness” to the entire grade. Inadequacy is too much, I think.
You know when you write a test and only remember everything five minutes after you are supposed to stop writing? Is that inadequacy? Does that mean that five minutes define whether you’re enough or not? That you’re unable to deal with life’s situations because you couldn’t remember that FDR’s middle name was Delano?
Chop and change Muhammad Ali’s famous quote, and you have something that makes just as much sense:
“Inadequate is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given, than to explore the power they have to change it. Inadequate is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Inadequate is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Inadequacy is potential. Inadequacy is temporary. Inadequacy is nothing.”

 

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

-Scoot xx

Scoot On ~ Getting Out

I’ve got to get out.

My last Facebook status update that probably left 200 of the 760 Facebook friends that bother to read any of the crap that I post wondering what the hell I was on about. Well, firstly,I feel like I shouldn’t have to explain every time somebody asks me,”What’s wrong?” or even worse, “Are you okay?” I hate those questions, mostly because whoever’s asking them already knows what they want to hear in return. Most people,or at least most people who I’ve come across want to hear something like,”No, I’m not alright and I really need you to help me because you can fix me an I trust you so much and you’re actually such a great person forhelping me,” but unfortunately for those people, this is life and not a poorly written YA novel.

Basically, for everyone who has been wondering what the hell has been going on with me: a lot. That’s the answer.

In brief, I’m not coping at my school, I’m being bullied again and I have to get out of there before I have a suicide on my hands. And as dramatic as it sounds, it’s a real life issue, assuming that there is a fake life to compare it to.

I’m a tired person who’s struggling trying to prepare for exams and do well,and I want to go back to Parktown Girls because at least I functioned there, and I want to stop being so useless,and I also want to punch a girl named Bridgett in the face, because everything that she says makes me and so many other people feel so crap about themselves, and not taking responsibility for it is NOT okay. Not with me, anyway.

I have to get through this though, because in a little over 600 days I’m going to be in Magnificent Mishawaka, Indiana, at Bethel College. I have to get through this.

  • If you didn’t want to know this, (cool memory erasing thing from men in black activates and now you unknow)
  • If you did want to know this, well now you do.

History exam on Friday, preparation level = 3/10.

-Scoot

Scoot On ~ THE FAULT IN OUR {insert here}

I HAVE INSPIRATION FROM SOMEWHERE SO DON’T SLOW ME DOWN

Okay? Okay.

THE FAULT IN OUR MOTHER TRUCKING STARS

I don’t know if it’s a crisis that (a) I can’t say/think/read/see ‘okay’ without getting emotional, (b) I had a dream that John Green and the Yeti (his wife) and Henry (their son) were my godparents, and (c) #TFIOS COMES OUT ON FRIDAY IN SOUTH AFRICA AND I HAVE A HISTORY EXAM AND AN AFRIKAANS EXAM (!!!!!??!?!??!????)

It did just occur to me that I could possibly just go see the movie after my exam and be broke, and I’m fairly more relaxed now.

THE FAULT IN OUR MOTHER TRUCKING EXAMS

Exams! My mid year exams only(ha, only) begin on Friday June 13th (READ ABOVE IF YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THIS SIGNIFICANCE) but the panic has not truly set in yet, possibly because the studying has not truly (read “at all”) begun. I’m feeling strange about these exams, and I can only imagine the severity of the panic attacks that will come from them, but I have been in a “COME AT ME BRO” kind of mood for the past four hours, which has also been rather severe. I feel like that sentence made no sense.

THE FAULT IN OUR ENERGY SAVING TENDENCIES

At my house, we’ve switched over to prepaid electricity, where you buy electrical units and then only use what you have, rather than using and using and getting a bill at the end of the month. Sounds great, and it is, except in regular houses, all heat producing devices including the geyser don’t get turned off when the temperature drops to 3°C. Or maybe they do, I don’t really know anything about regular homes because most people don’t live in a five-child family.

THE FAULT IN OUR MOTIVATIONAL VIDEOS

If you are looking for a video to help you stop procrastinating: DO NOT WATCH ONE

If you are looking for motivation to study: DO NOT WATCH ONE

If you are looking for motivation to better yourself: DO NOT WATCH ONE!!!!

ALL THESE VIDEOS DO IS HELP YOU WASTE TIME WHEN YOU COULD BE STUDYING OR WORKING OUT OR PAINTING OR BAKING OR BETTERING YOURSELF

THE FAULT IN THE FAULT IN OUR STARS

n o n e

THE FAULT IN THESE PICTURES

I got them through laborious procrastination 🙂

TFIOSpast plans sail tumblr_mzn4ihiPRU1rx19nlo1_500 Turn-It-Around mat keys download

 

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars,

but in ourselves.

 

-Scoot