a love letter to/from lisbon

take me with you
’cause even on your own
you are not alone

 

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i love you.

i love you, so much.

i have to keep pinching myself to remind my brain that you’re real, because loving by halves, like austen, isn’t my nature, and if something else has been taking up all the space in my brain, i’d like to know.

take me with you 
’cause even by yourself
you are something else

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this city has consumed me. i have been lost for more hours than i have been asleep; danced drunk for longer than i thought possible, eaten so many pastries i thought i would turn into one; made so many impulse maroon purchases that i wanted to forget that money was a thing; fallen on slippery cobblestone in the rain despite several attempts not to…

one summer turns into ten summers
one lover turns into ten others
but this memory is still with me

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you are a wonder amongst wonders. you are more than i can comprehend. you are all that i need to be thinking of to find myself. you are pale blue skies and obnoxious church bells ringing. you are every combination of strength and gentleness that i ever wished to find. i don’t wish for much anymore.

so close, bring me in so close
your clothes underneath my clothes
once upon a time in portugal

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in lisbon i have found parts of myself that i didn’t know i had lost. i found that a hostel can really become your home, that 3 am is an acceptable time to start partying, that getting a reassuring squeeze from a then-stranger from calgary, maine, los angeles, virginia, spain, luxembourg or india can really alter the course of your night, and that sometimes swiping your card and seeing what happens is really the best adventure that there is. i learned that i can write a short story about a thunderstorm of a person from a perspective that isn’t mine in dour days, and that it can be good.

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i arrived in lisbon with an arfrikaans property developer that i met on the plane, food poisoning, and a fear that i would run out of money. i start my journey back home via luanda in about 8 hours. i’m leaving lisbon with a cold, a new sweatshirt, no money, and a very, very full heart.

thank you for having me, lisboa.
thank you for having me, you.

i love you.

love and light,
shalom xo

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