deep breath. big sip of water. hope, dismay, repeat.
this is january.
january has just been a lot. i don’t know how else to explain it. this month i lost a job i never had (but 100% had in my mind), found out that i am fat (and had it consistently reaffirmed by people who think my body is their business), ran so many errands for my mom (because i’m not in school and i don’t have a job and i am essentially a bum) and wrote. i wrote some pretty good pieces this month. i’m proud of them. the trump presidency is…a disgrace and disaster of biblical proportions.
i don’t know what we can do to fix it. i mean, i guess i have to become president. boop. but for real, it’s been a mess and i’ve been cutting ties like i do fresh bread because i’m not here for nazi sympathisers. watch your wrist if you punch one, friends.
from the camera roll
talk with your fingertips
don’t stop the car, let’s drive
suck on your amber lips
just give me one bad night
i think of this song in the context of my friend, dani, and also how i’m tom incarnate.
friends, sometimes when you’re on, you’re really fucking on. (i’m gonna write a whole post on this song because it’s fits too well.)
man. don’t even let me start. this month has been januARI.
ari fitz invented jawlines, facial expressions, cheekbones, tomboyish style, and tiny geometric tattoos. facts only. i’m enamoured with her style, her boldness, her carefree black girl realness & her die hard attitude. ari is intelligent and talented beyond measure, inspiring in a way i didn’t think i could think someone could be, and extremely gorgeous. y’all. my knees are the weakest.
she makes videos every single day, and is the curator of the tomboy-style instagram & channel, the tomboyish (@the.tomboyish). ari is a big voice on androgyny in style & accepting and channeling one’s masculinity and femininity together. (did you know that androgyne is literally greek for male-female? andro – male; gyne – female. lit.) 11/10 would recommend. y’all seeing that? eleven out of ten.
other obsessions include
- the never ending job hunt
- the college apps check (login, sigh, logout, repeat)
- tea in the morning
snippets of internal monologue
- SHALOM. you can’t just run a 5k. you can’t just do things like that! do you understand?
- are you ever going to edit that portugal vlog? (i did. it’s here.)
- where in the HELL am i going to university LORD
today someone told me to keep writing. i had my freelance pitches rejected SO HARD, so i really needed to hear that. keep doing what keeps you up. it’s 5:21 AM here. here’s to february and resistance and progress. please, lord. progress.
love & light,