monthly me | januARI ’17

deep breath. big sip of water. hope, dismay, repeat.

this is january.

january

january has just been a lot. i don’t know how else to explain it. this month i lost a job i never had (but 100% had in my mind), found out that i am fat (and had it consistently reaffirmed by people who think my body is their business), ran so many errands for my mom (because i’m not in school and i don’t have a job and i am essentially a bum) and wrote. i wrote some pretty good pieces this month. i’m proud of them. the trump presidency is…a disgrace and disaster of biblical proportions.

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i don’t know what we can do to fix it. i mean, i guess i have to become president. boop. but for real, it’s been a mess and i’ve been cutting ties like i do fresh bread because i’m not here for nazi sympathisers. watch your wrist if you punch one, friends.

from the camera roll

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i had no sleep and was thinking too much. so i got a breakfast bowl.

on repeat

talk with your fingertips
don’t stop the car, let’s drive

suck on your amber lips
just give me one bad night

i think of this song in the context of my friend, dani, and also how i’m tom incarnate.

friends, sometimes when you’re on, you’re really fucking on. (i’m gonna write a whole post on this song because it’s fits too well.)

obsessions

ARI FITZ.

man. don’t even let me start. this month has been januARI.

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ari fitz invented jawlines, facial expressions, cheekbones, tomboyish style, and tiny geometric tattoos. facts only. i’m enamoured with her style, her boldness, her carefree black girl realness & her die hard attitude. ari is intelligent and talented beyond measure, inspiring in a way i didn’t think i could think someone could be, and extremely gorgeous. y’all. my knees are the weakest.

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she makes videos every single day, and is the curator of the tomboy-style instagram & channel, the tomboyish (@the.tomboyish). ari is a big voice on androgyny in style & accepting and channeling one’s masculinity and femininity together. (did you know that androgyne is literally greek for male-female? andro – male; gyne – female. lit.) 11/10 would recommend. y’all seeing that? eleven out of ten.

other obsessions include

  • the never ending job hunt
  • the college apps check (login, sigh, logout, repeat)
  • crackerbread
  • tea in the morning

snippets of internal monologue

  • SHALOM. you can’t just run a 5k. you can’t just do things like that! do you understand?
  • are you ever going to edit that portugal vlog? (i did. it’s here.)
  • where in the HELL am i going to university LORD

today someone told me to keep writing. i had my freelance pitches rejected SO HARD, so i really needed to hear that. keep doing what keeps you up. it’s 5:21 AM here. here’s to february and resistance and progress. please, lord. progress.

love & light,
shalom xo

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