monthly me | august ’17

The others can believe what they like, but I don’t believe for a second that this is the real August and the other an aberration.
And yet,  I can see how they might be fooled —

~ Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants

August happened. Is still happening, as I write this. I’m reminded that this time last year was the first time I made one of these Monthly Me posts. It’s a bit strange now, when I look back on that August. Somehow, “I don’t believe for a second that this is the real August.” It sounds silly, or obscure at best, but it does the job when I’m looking for a descriptor for my feelings. In any case, August.

Snapchat-268908592

Right. To begin, August has gone both agonisingly slowly and astoundingly quickly. The month began on a hill with my dear, Yasmin – who you may have become rather well acquainted with due to my frequent mentions of her and me being complete jokes singing Mary Lambert into the void and laughing about free unsweetened coffee and Macklemore. On August 5th, I began a 35 hour journey from home to new home-ish. It gets dark much later than I’m used to here, and I find myself confused at 7:30 PM because my brain and body thinks it’s 5 PM latest.

I had my parental parties with me for a week here, and I mostly just slept and went to Walmart. American shops are strange. Why are vegetables so expensive here? Systematic obesity, that’s why. All the things are crazy big here and wastefulness is terribly inherent. Except, people make a big deal of recycling. A very big deal.

My university is a goodie. By the time this is published, I’ll have moved in and just completed my leadership and advocacy program. I will also probably be crying or almost crying about near everything. I am, per usual, desperately unprepared for everything and frantically planning what little finances I have. I am, however, the newest employee of the Barnes and Noble on my campus! The things are happening and while I’m mostly terrified about everything, I’m okay with it.

SOPHIA IS GREAT. I finally met my roommate who I’d been talking to for five months prior, and our dynamic is just as good as it was over the internet, and infinitely better than the best that I could have hoped for in person. I spent the last two and a half weeks of the month in a sublet with some lovely housemates and one hell of a cat. Nalu is a mission but also a miracle. I love that boy.

August held such strange promise for me at the beginning of the year. I want to say, “Look! So much has changed!” but the biggest shift has been one of location, and despite flying for forever, the ground underneath my feet is still steady. I got here. It took a lot, and is still taking a lot, but I got here. And I got a job at the coolest cafe. And I have the coolest girl for my roommate and soul sister and forever friend. And I lived with the coolest cat for two weeks. I’m trying to stay ahead, but I’m gonna give ahead a slip and try for fully alive.

 

tunes n vids

the weather may be stormy, but the road is still before me
so pedal to the metal and drive

it could be weird, but i think i’m into it
you know i’m one for the overly passionate

oh, my heart hurts so good
i love you babe, so bad, so bad

oh, good god. this is a lot.

 

buncha other loves

  • My housemates upstairs and the stellar lil dinner we had the other night! Preston and Rachel, y’all are gems.
  • Nalu, my cat that’s not my cat.
  • Luna! My new electric-acoustic ukulele! Y’all! Life!
  • Uh, the new Kingsman II trailer. HELLO. EGGSY HELLO. HARRY’S BACK.

eggsy: we’ve got the brains, skills…skipping rope?

 

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snippets of internal monologue

  • 3 feet? That’s half a man!
  • Nobody. Has. Kettles.
  • Okay, this tax thing is getting stupid. This is stupid. I’m tired.
  • I don’t think I’ll ever read Neruda without feeling feeling again. Shalom,.the fic wasn’t even that emotional! Please girl. Get a grip. Tell Chyanne about it.
  • OOOH ground SWALLOW ME UP just like that!!!

 

That’s it done. That’s August, done. Do you mean to tell me that the end of the year is stealthily approaching and that I’m ignoring it? Well, I could have told you that.

love and light,
shalom xo

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