well, let it pass, he thought; april is over, april is over. there are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.
– f scott fitzgerald, the sensible thing
it’s the same every april, my friends. except, this april, this quote means something different to me. april is over and i have experienced a new kind of love, one that has me believing that there really are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice. this is april.
it rained a lot this month. we also, however, had many more brighter days which happily coincided with my desperate need for them. my mood’s been a lot better, i’m taking my medicine, my brain is behaving – i’m okay. this month was a bit of a shit show in terms of school, but i’ve made it to the end of it and i am so so glad to be able to say i survived it. this month i also did a very adult thing and went apartment hunting! i’m happy to say i’ll be signing for it in a little bit and that i’ll be leaving dorm life in a neat little chapter titled “sophomore year in america and all the nice and shit things that came with it”.
this past month i got a new journal, painted hydrangeas while drinking summer sangria, damn near cried over linguistics, found 3 random housemates, broke my headphones, worked out exactly 1 (one) time, suffered through the pain of my wisdom teeth coming in, stressed about the dental appointment i am yet to make to have them removed, made countless flashcards, decided to write again, and ate 3 (three) burgers. the second was the better burger.
april was not terrible. i spent all of it wrapped in a very tender sort of love that i hadn’t experienced before, and i hope to experience it for a long time. love is rad as hell. still don’t appreciate the “you’ll find somebody” speech that people would give me. all that aside, my love takes up mega heart and brain real estate, and i’ve found myself in a very happy place since adding him to my world. (thanks baby. i love you.)
good. that was april.
come over tomorrow, it’s that kind of evening
we’ll get mixed up on both sides of the ceiling
impatiently, as i wait for you
(this is a beauuuuutiful tune. it reminds me of drives (from the passenger seat) and a steady hand on my leg.)
count the headlights on the highway
(oh my soul, was this killer. it’s tiny dancer by florence and the machine, and it is a wonderfully crafted masterpiece.)
snippets of internal monologue
- i would give anything to be in florida for a bachelor party right now.
- just be cool just be cool just be — ah fuck.
- but self neglect is just so much easier!
- quit. quit like the lany song.
this has been april and it is up on time because the bitch is back. it feels good. however your month was, let it pass. open yourself to some of that new love, my friends.
love and light,