On Why University Students Know More Than They Think They Know

HANDS UP FOR THE LONGEST TITLE EVER
(alternately titled: it doesn’t matter)

Today (tonight?) I stopped by my old school.

I’m not entirely certain that stopped by is the correct term, seeing that I was there for roughly five hours. In any case, I came to a couple of realisations, conclusions and utter WHAT-THE-HECKLING-tions today. Allow me to fill you in, friends.

1. People are more viscious than you think they can be.

Granted, we all love a skandal, but the amount of shade-throwing and utter hate that goes on in high schools is fairly ridiculous. Is there a reason for this? Possibly. Am I aware of it? [insert obviously not meme]

2. There are so many people in the world to love.

Ugh. I feel like a sappy, and hungry (but mostly hungry) wreck. Most of the people I saw tonight -even the almost accidental run in with some twins- made my metaphorical teenage girl heart swell. Sometimes, it was a swell of sadness. The most of it was an “I’M SO FREAKING EXCITED TO SEE YOU AND YOUR LOVELINESS” swell. In any case, my heart is so full, but there are still so many people to see. Hence, title of paragraph,

3. University students are quite flippen’ rad.

I had the pleasure (PLEASURE LET ME TELL YOU!) of sitting in front of four students in second year, all studying accounting majors. They were the greatest. Apart from chats about the Sims with Kyra, Sim murder wth Kyra and Chen, rapid fire talk with Bradley and an utterly, utterly beautiful Daniella, they made me fully (mostly) grasp something that’d been swimming around in my brain for a while:

It doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if you had a full colours blazer in high school. It doesn’t matter if you were the nerdiest of nerds and landed up studying accounting, because you’re freaking great at it. It doesn’t matter if you hated high school. You’ll still love  the annual crappy-but-exceptionally-talent-filled showcase. You’ll come every year that you can. It doesn’t matter if someone told you you weren’t cool in high school because you were a chess champion. Know why? YOU ARE STILL A CHESS CHAMPION. Nothing of that sort matters because the right people and energy really make the sun (moon) (artificial light that’s also beautiful) shine out of your face, and in this case, you both look and are lovely.

 

From left: Chen(Lillian), Kyra, Daniella, Bradley. Also known as "the cool uni kids I've dubbed my cool friends without asking".

From left:
Chen(Lillian), Kyra, Daniella, Bradley.
Also known as “the cool uni kids I’ve dubbed my cool friends without asking”.

Granted, being relatively ambushed by an aspiring teenage blogger who had too much coffee with her medication this morning is something that should matter. Tonight, however, it was all marvellous and wonderful and everything good I could have hoped for.

I have masses of History homework. Hell, I have masses of all homework, and it’s 00:32.It’s already Friday. Intentions to complete said homework exists. Making these intentions into actions into reality? Debatable.

Have a beautiful Friday, darlings.
shalom

YouTube and Lashes (Not the eye ones)

Am I a bad blogger? YES I AM A BAD BLOGGER.

This reminds me of a time when my English teacher (phenomenal woman) begged for forgiveness and then got on her knees and gave herself twenty make-believe lashes for accidentally cancelling appointments with some students.

I won’t be giving anyone any lashes.

On the real, I really am sorry for not posting at all! November comes at the worst time: NaBloPoMo, The Most Important School Exams I’ve Ever Written, Troye Sivan and Caspar Lee Coming To SA But I Can’t See Them Because I’m Writing Chemistry…the list goes on. I’ve been ridiculously busy and haven’t been able to get much done because I’ve been studying…but I haven’t gotten much studying done either?

In a word: bruh.

In any case, my YouTube channel is under construction! I’m officially starting on December 1st and I’m feeling all the feels, people. I feel a little weird, but mostly full of anticipation: there shall soon be a YouTube account that people will see me be awkward on and laugh and IT’S SUPER GREAT.

I+know+that+feel+bro+_f8bc5de9674fd54f1dc1cad678f774da

I’m super excited because this is something I’ve wanted to do for a long time, and even though it’s going to be more work on my part, I feel like it’ll help me get more organised? Yeah, mapping out schedules that’ll go out of the window in a week – that’s my area of expertise, yo.

I’m going to be posting more regularly now that I only have FOUR EXAMINATIONS REMAINING (YASSSSSSSS) as well as a schedule in the pipelines- I’m really proud of this schedule, and if it would come to life and stop being a ninja turtle, it’d be great.

I’ve spent the better part of my day choosing channel art and convincing myself that I didn’t do too badly on my Drama Theory exam. Thank you to everyone on Facebook and Instagram and Twitter who have put up with my 12 “Should I really do this?” posts. I really appreciate every single bit of motivation that I get.

Love, excitement, and everlasting internet,

Shalom X

Write things and dance

I’m not writing a novel.

Yeah, I quit NaNoWriMo 5 days in. Look at me, the best teenager ever!

(jokes)

Okay, so while I really DID try to write some things, I’ve only managed to come up with a couple of nameless complex characters that DO NOT INTERACT WITH EACH OTHER. I think I should preserve them on paper, but I don’t think a novel is the right place for them as of yet.

What I am doing, though, is NaBloPoMo! It really appears that this is what I’ve been doing from the beginning, seeing that you people (INCLUDING THE SUPER COOL VIEWS FROM ROMANIA AND PAKISTAN(!!!)) probably had no clue I writing -attempting to write, rather- a novel.

I wrote a math exam today, and the world did not end! It wasn’t good, but it wasn’t GODTHATWASAWFULTHROWMEINATRASHBAG bad. Progress!

I’m writing an Afrikaans exam (additional language) and I haven’t glanced at a book in 3 days. In the words of a screwed teenage girl:

Crap.

Here’s Taylor Swift dancing to some music that she loves a lot. Be happy if you can, friend. Your cells in your body love you a lot, even when it feels like nobody else does.

Love,

Scoot X

 

Day three of NaNoWriMo and I’m already forgetting things.

I’m writing mt math final in about 36 hours, so I did another practice exam: 35 /100! Better than yesterday’s.

I don’t have many pearls of wisdom today, except for this: sleep is fantastic.

It really isn’t just for the weak! It’s really for the whole week. I tried really hard to be funny there, in case you were wondering what the heck that was.

I’ve been going to sleep by 21:30 for the last week or so, and even though I run on batteries, coffee and vegan chicken strips, I feel a lot better? Mostly because I only got told that I looked like I “crawled out of a Gotham sewer” once last week. Once, is also an improvement from three times.

Again, WHAT IS THE POINT?

I don’t really know. Maybe I’ll find out after I get some sleep. If you’re having some difficulty, I recommend this playlist. And this one.Maybe it’ll help.  Ah, 8tracks is amazing, just love it.

I think I’ll post more than 5 minutes before bed time tomorrow.

Love & Affection,

-Scoot X

The Truth About Love

Okay, in brief, here’s where I’ve been over the past 2 (?) months:

Me: *tries to get grades up* ufffffffffff

Me: *tries even harder* ufffffffffffffff

Me: *STILL CAN’T DO THE THINGS*

me: *cries softly*

Me: *CRIES LOUDLY*


Exams start in two days, and I’m really stressed out, but not more than usual. After attempting a practice test for my maths exam that I (a) felt good about and (b) PREPARED FOR, I managed to score a grand 12 per cent. Not even a little bitof an exageration: 12/100. Wonderful.

I’ve spend the last week living at my darling Mouse’s house (her name is Caitlin, and she is by no means a rodent), waking up and getting ready in 12 minutes, eating breakfast and petting three cats at a time. In addition to the fantastic all vegetarian food I was provided with, there were also those teenage girl darkness talks. About all the things. Just to clarify: niether of us was naked, no pillows ripped apart during the glorious pillow fight, and all action was PG-12L. Sorry.

On my last day there, after countless conversations about girls and boys and cute butts and fish and Teen Wolf, we spoke about love. And London. We matched up all of our friends with cities where they could possibly potentially find the love thing (Italy, Cape Town,Amsterdam, ANYWHERE) and then we spoke about ourselves.

Now, call me selfish, but everything that comes out of this girl’s mouth is GOLD (okay, maybe not everything) so I was listening intently. A part of the conversation went like this:

Me: I’m going to Indiana. But should I be? *teen girl insecurity things ugh*

Mouse: *deep in thought, nodding*

Mouse: Mmmm.

Me: I think I need to go to Europe.

Mouse:Yes.

Me: Where would  I begin? Will I even be happy? *strange noises* What if everyone hates me?

Mouse: London. Definitely London, to start. And then you can work your way around to (place I can’t remember) and (place I can’t remember) and Liverpool.

Both: LIVERPOOL.

Mouse: I feel like you’ll go to London and meet a boy, maybe, who will think you’re the most interesting creature he’s ever come across. And he’ll be the one you wrote in the book. (I wrote an imginary boy. That’s all.) It takes a specific person to love you, Scoot. And I think you’ll find that person there.


WHAT IS THE POINT?

1) I had a great time.

2) The truth about love is that it takes a specific person to love you. And sometimes, you’ll need to go somewhere to find that person. I think you’ll find that person there. Even if that person is yourself.

This has been the most clichéd blog post I have ever written, I think. But I’m trying to do this NaNoWriMo thing and write despite exams, and be open and real and I’m feeling VERY TEENAGE GIRLISH AND I’M BEING OKAY WITH IT, OKAY?

That’s all I’ve got. Thanks to Matt Black for reminding me about NaNoWriMo, even though I’m twenty-four and a bit hours late. Day one and two, all smushed into 300 words of teen girling.

All my love,

-Shalom X

Scoot On ~ why I probably SHOULD shut up

Oh hey! No,I’m kidding. But hi anyway!

So if you’ve been following this blog for a while, you’ll know that here in South Africa, it’s exam season. In three weeks or so, I’ll be writing on pieces of paper that determine how much I’m worth until I’m out of school. It sucks that the only way our intelligence at school is measured is based solely on how well we follow instructions from another person or do exactly as they say without questioning anything. School is actually really difficult, and you know, I think that the only thing I’m certain of is that

THE MITOCHONDRIA IS THE POWERHOUSE OF THE CELL

Thanks, Mrs Moloney (6th grade Natural Science teacher).

Today, while sitting with a group of girls and doing the chit-chat thing, I realised something several times : I’m in the business of saying things that shouldn’t be said. I don’t know how to phrase that any better, but I suck at timing and my facial expressions really are beyond my control.  Off the top of my head, here’s three:

  • ” I’m going to be a little late for the meeting at break…I’m doing the thing with that girl in the bathroom.”

WHAT? I just had to go to the bathroom,but that came out of my mouth instead. I wish it hadn’t because I’m almost 300% certain that my deputy headmistress was behind me.

  • History teacher:” Are you sleeping in my class? You’d better have a good reason for this.”

ME:*looks around nervously* “I’m so sorry, I just–I — THERE ARE BOYS IN MY HEAD AND I HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, YOU WOULDN’T UNDERSTAND”

I have no explanation for this. I can’t justify myself. I feared momentarily that I was going to re-enter the “I’m so random” phase, which was by far THE WORST to ever possess our generation. I don’t know, I’m still apologising to myself. And to everyone who had to witness it.

  • “I’ll chi chi your hua hua if you don’t stop”

Real talk,this human wouldn’t stop talking about their dog teddy bear thing from old/new/imaginary boyfriend. For real, it’s great to talk about things that make you happy like a teddy, but if that’s all you talk about, we’ll have a problem. I think I’ll stop here before I (a) fail physics, (b) make myself more potentially unhireable than I am, and (c) type more garbage.

embarrassment is said to build character. I sure damn hope so.

All my love,

-Scoot xx


YOUTUBE CHANNEL IN DECEMBER

Scoot on ~ this jealousy, man.

I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why I feel the way I do, and how ridiculous some of the reasons are.Today, a friend of mine finally asked out a girl. They were both really happy, and everyone who was nearby was also really happy, and I was really happy for them both, and I stayed behind with her so she could fawn over teenage girl things with me, and it was lovely. I was really glad to know that she was glad.

Problem? No problem!

Except this conclusion that I’ve come to: I’m jealous of everything.

You have a cat? I’m jealous.

You get a good math grade? I’m jealous.

You find a good study system? Still jealous.

You in love with a boy? Very jealous.

It is said that jealousy is the human condition, and more so that of the teenager.

“If you swim effortlessly in the deep oceans, ride the waves to and from the shore, if you can breathe under water and dine on the deep treasures of the seas; mark my words, those who dwell on the rocks carrying nets will try to reel you into their catch. The last thing they want is for you to thrive in your habitat because they stand in their atmosphere where they beg and gasp for some air.”

Am I trying to sabotage everyone with a cute cat and a brilliant math grade? No. Am I trying to kill/injure/ruin/negatively influence the boy you’re in love with? No. I suppose it’s more of a longing than jealousy, because heaven knows I’M LONGING FOR A GOOD STUDY SYSTEM.

I don’t know, I’m trying to stay felony free and not do anything illegal because of longing. Am I Miss-Steal-Your-Boy? Maybe. (NO I’M NOT)

Remain sane,

-Scoot xx


ALMOST A YEAR. HELP.

S-a-t-u-r-d-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-y

Aloha, Scootonerinos!

That, friends, was a Louise SprinkleOfGlitter referenece. I think I’m starting a Youtuber greetings pattern here.

I’ve been really busy, and it’s quite ridiculous seeing that the things I’m busy with are little things that should not take too long to complete. Except if there are exactly 43 million of those little things that follow you everywhere. I’m not kidding, this grade eleven thing follows me into the shower  (don’t forget your physics assignment), into the bathtub (did you really think that your essay was due tomorrow?), under the blankets (oh, yeah, that rehearsal is today), and even in my tea. My schoolwork is working its way into my tea, and I can’t drink a hot beverage without thinking about the fact that I have an anthology due in two weeks.

On the topic of the anthology:

How it  works: You’re given free range on topics and you have to choose one that (a) you enjoy, (b) you can relate to, and (c) you pray you’ll finish. The project is assigned in January and is due in August. You have to write a preface of  1000 words, compile 3 songs, poems, fiction extracts and non fiction extracts, and write your own original poem, all related to your topic. The reading takes a while. The writing takes longer.

How it works for me: I only have to do one of each category, seeing that I joined the school about one and a half months ago. It’s a pleasure to do – my title is Life, Interrupted. It’s about fully functioning in a ‘functional’ society while living with mental illness. IT’S EXCITING. It’s also due on September 15th, the same day as a speech for Drama, and the week after my history project is due.

ABOUT HISTORY AT THIS SCHOOL

I’ve never failed a test. Okay, that’s a lie. I’ve failed math tests before, but that’s because I’m usually horribly useless at the numbers game, except if it’s the maths used to create the graphs John Green made use of in the novel, An Abundance of Katherines. You can read about it here. I failed a history test at my new school, and I’m not blaming it on adjustment issues or whatever. The thing is: I don’t fail history. EVER. I failed thoroughly though, not a half-assed fail. 19/50.  38%. THIRTY EIGHT.

After a discussion with my teacher (generally knows what’s in the textbook and doesn’t know much other than that) and the head of department (knows stuff and seems to love history a lot) they concluded the following:

  1. I haven’t been taught to think in the correct way
  2. I have a limited vocabulary
  3. My old school must have had a low standard of teaching

Problems I have with their observations:

  1. what?
  2. what?!?!????
  3. oh hell no – what??

Yeah, that happened on Thursday and I’ve never been so angry in my life. I don’t think I have – I even cried (?) so I think that that’s an experience that I’m forever going to hold with me. Hopefully, my resentful sentiments change with time – like 20 years of it.

In other news: I HAVE 15 MOTHS LEFT OF HIGH SCHOOL!

Today is also day 100 of my #100happydays challenge. I’m having very mixed emotions about it. It’s also also my smallest little sister’s 13th birthday today! That’ll take some of the attention off and I’m truly grateful for that. This is her on the day I got Getrude (laptop). Selfie game level 43 000: taking the first pictures on a new computer that isn’t yours.

picture015

 

I’m tired, people (and anything else reading this – there is a Dog with a Blog so we can’t be discriminating here). It’s 1:18 in the morning and I fixed the printer and have a planner for September (?). Here we go!
Screenshot (68)

 

Later/whatever/other teenagerism

-Scoot xx

 

Update on the things ❄

Hello, Internet!

That was a direct danisnotonfire reference if you were wondering at all. As you can see, my posting schedule has gone out of the window. So has my birthday money, my razors, my eating habits, my exercise plan, my job opportunities, my internet connection and my cellphone charger.

My new (old) school is going great!

Seriously though, it’s not the school that’s making stuff go out of the window. It’s not great, and it’s not really good either,but I’m mentally alright-ish. I’m also talking to Jessica again (teenage girls have weird fallout and are now speaking again yay) and that’s not bad. However, in other news:

I ONLY HAVE 7 DAYS OF HAPPINESS LEFT!

If you have been visiting this here blog, or if you follow me on instagram, you’ll know that I’m talking about the 100 Happy Days challenge that I took. For me, it’s unbelievable that I’ve come so far and haven’t yet quit. Also, how quickly these days go past. I remember that on the 26th of May, I had a history test that I missed because I came home sick (thank the Lord because I was actually nowhere near ready for that) and then I started the challenge. 93 days later, here I am.

Am I extremely overjoyed yet? No. But I have done some awesome things in the couple of months that I’ve been taking this challenge. I’ve gotten a ride from a stranger who turned out not be a serial killer but the turned out to be equally as dangerous when he added me on Facebook (praise for privacy settings), I’ve fed a homeless person, I’ve done a ballet ‘photoshoot’, I’ve met amazing people, I’ve organised a matric dance (prom for you internationals), and I’ve gotten in more trouble than I can imagine. Do I regret anything? Possibly not taking more pictures, but otherwise, no. Am I happy yet? Well, ask me again in a week, won’t you?

In terms of my series, it’s actually going well! I’m still doing interviews and I’ll put them up whenever I can get the motivation to. As for right now, I have tonnes of work to do and a table to organise, as you can see. So I’ve got to be on my way. Thanks for bothering to read this, and I’m glad that I could possibly spread some of my procrastination on you! Remember that you as a being have a possibility for greatness that is both heart-stopping and immense.

Hide from all the things!

Hide from all the things!

See ya later, internet-gator. (is that a thing?)

-Scoot xx

Scoot on ~ why inadequacy is nothing

Strangers, I saw a video. If you are not a stranger, and know me personally, well, I still saw a video.

SHOUT OUT TO TRISTAN ELLIOT FOR SHARING THIS VIDEO ON FACEBOOK AND FOR BEING AWESOME IN GENERAL AND CARING FOR ME DURING DARK DAYS,  LOVE YOU GIRL  ❤

It was a spoken word video that I’m gonna link right here about why exams shouldn’t mean as much to us as they do. I watched it a couple of days ago so I can’t really remember much of it, but what I do remember is that it made me think about how inadequacy is defined in our society. Look, I don’t agree with all of it, but it made sense to me and I’d like to share it.

Firstly:

society
səˈsʌɪɪti/
noun
1.
the aggregate of people living together in a more or less ordered community.
“drugs, crime, and other dangers to society”
2.
an organization or club formed for a particular purpose or activity.
“the Royal Society for the Protection of Birds”
Secondly:
inadequacy
ɪnˈadɪkwəsi/
noun
1.
the state or quality of being inadequate; lack of the quantity or quality required.
“the inadequacy of available resources”
2.
inability to deal with a situation or with life.
“her feelings of personal inadequacy”

Now, let me prepare you for a whole lot of opinion, mainly based on sudden exam realisations and a lack of desire to study a useless subject:
Inadequacy is usually defined by the lack of something in a situation, but in the world of schooling,it is too often defined by the extra opinions, judgments, or decisions of people who will never be directly affected by their words or actions.
Inadequacy is being in the top class and rejoicing at your 50% for maths, or having friends who know what they want to do in life and still being confused, or having your ex boyfriend’s brother proclaim your lack of “good enough-ness” to the entire grade. Inadequacy is too much, I think.
You know when you write a test and only remember everything five minutes after you are supposed to stop writing? Is that inadequacy? Does that mean that five minutes define whether you’re enough or not? That you’re unable to deal with life’s situations because you couldn’t remember that FDR’s middle name was Delano?
Chop and change Muhammad Ali’s famous quote, and you have something that makes just as much sense:
“Inadequate is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they’ve been given, than to explore the power they have to change it. Inadequate is not a fact. It’s an opinion. Inadequate is not a declaration. It’s a dare. Inadequacy is potential. Inadequacy is temporary. Inadequacy is nothing.”

 

Couldn’t have said it better myself.

-Scoot xx