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but did you die?
(short answer: no. i didn’t.) hello my friends hello! it’s been a bit of a long time but i’ve gone back to my scheduled programming of losing my mind a little bit. it’s a bit better than the depersonalization-derealization disaster of fall 2019, but now i’m struggling to get out of bed again. eh. anyway,… — read more
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immortalizing love
in the moment that i realize i love him, i am sitting up on my bed and he is diagonally across from me. i tell him, “i really like you”, and he says “i think you’re looking for a stronger word”. it’s the first time he’s right. he’s right nearly every time after. and when… — read more
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i listen to a lot of lcd soundsystem.
a lot. when i wake up on saturday morning, “pow pow” by lcd soundsystem is playing in my head on repeat. it powers me through the shower that i don’t want to take and the breakfast that i don’t want to eat. the library awaits, and i leave the house doing high kness to “drunk… — read more
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dance yrself clean
it’s a good morning in the house and heart of shalom. i woke up and watched derry girls, and then looked at my naked body in the mirror that came with my room – it’s an upgrade from the duct taped one in my old room – and shook myself out. i shook my arms… — read more
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i said hey, what’s going on
it’s been a minute and then some. briefly, i am the busiest i have ever been, i have started new medication recently and it is a bit of a shit show, i keep forgetting to eat, i am so very busy, i am very deeply in love still, school is about to start again, and… — read more
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shit is hard
i really meant to come back to writing, like, five months ago. and i didn’t because shit is hard — this shit is hard! i wanted to say so much but i couldn’t get the words to come out of my fingers in the way that i was happy to recognize as my own. idk.… — read more
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and we back
well, it’s been around three or so months since you’ve heard from me. i am alive. i am, in fact, well. i am now aware that my audience contains some people i would rather it didn’t, and i am writing anyway. i am writing anyway. hello, my friends! i’m not sure what this post is… — read more
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october ’18 | monthly me
i can’t believe it’s november. if you had to tell me that i’d experience half the things i have from january to now back at the start of 2018, i would probably have laughed with hope. i don’t regret anything that’s happened this year. not yet. october flew by and allowed me to solidify some… — read more