bite, chew, chew, swallow

People used to say, (and they probably still do) “don’t bite off more than you can chew.” My genuine response to that for six years was, “don’t worry, I have a really big mouth.”

My mom had a way of teaching me to chew with my mouth closed: she’d tell me in a singsong way to “chew, chew; swallow, swallow.” I tried to sing the song while I ate. The food went everywhere and it was gross.

In high school, I wanted to take French and biology as extra subjects. They’d cost quite a bit of money to do outside of school, and my grade tutor warned me not to overwhelm myself. I wanted to tell her about this gif:

So far, this post has been full of stories of me trying to do the absolute most, and forgetting about the tiny human defect I have: being a human being. I forget that I am a person who is more than the number of things she couldn’t get done that day. I forget that forgetting to eat for two days isn’t really a good start to a semester. I forget that I get to take a step back and chew, then step down and swallow before I get back up again.

If I’m talking to you when I say what I’m about to say – and I am talking to you- listen. Take time to chew. If you’ve bitten off too much, chew slowly. Sing a song and let the food fall out of your mouth. Take care of yourself.

Keep eating. Drink some water.

I’m proud of you so far! (Spoiler alert: I always will be proud of you.)

Love and light,
shalom xo


An Open Letter To You All

Dear friends,

Lately, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking. Granted, most of it is hungry 2AM thinking that shouldn’t count, but it’s thinking, so it does. I’m on vacation (what’s the difference between holiday and vacation?)! I have 36 (including weekends) days left, and after a really long time of doing nothing, (read: browsing the internet and lying on the ground) I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t like having nothing to do.

But Shalom, you say, you DO have things to do! What about that YouTube channel of yours that you so excitedly started over here? Ah, well, here’s the first part of this letter:

PART ONE: BEING A YOUTUBER IS HARD WHEN YOU DON’T OWN A CAMERA

I feel like the title is self explanatory. I shall be uploading and apologising again tomorrow, and I’m sorry if anyone was (is?) actually waiting in anticipation to see it. I hope it’s satisfactory. This is not how I wanted this blog post to go so I’m stopping part one.

PART TWO: WE NEED TO LIVE MORE

Partof my nothingness time hasbeen spent on Ella Grace Denton’s blog, We Need To Live MoreNote: I feel really strange about calling her Ella in this post, but I’m going to do it anyway. Cringe. Ella is twenty years old and extremely insightful and fantastic. I feel like a school teacher writing comments on a frightened child’s report card. Cringe again. Cringes aside, I’ve spent a lot of time on WNTLM and I’ve come to the agree with her. We really do need to live more. Yes, another teenage girl is being a cliche and writing about happiness and experiences and such. Come to think of it, it’s really difficult to NOT be a cliche. You do what you’re expected to? Cliche. You do something overdone? Cliche. You do something completely different? Oh, look! Other people want to try it out because it seems positive! You’re a cliche.

Less about cliches and more about Ella, she gives all sorts of tips and advice and recipes and all in all, cool things to possibly make your life more awesome if you try them. I advise you all to give it a look, and do something different today or tomorrow (today, because tomorrow never comes). Thus ends part two!

Kidding. You can follow Ella on twitter and instagramNow it’s done.

PART THREE: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO CALL THIS PART

You’re a cool person. And life can be so crap and awful and I’m so sorry because it’s really important to note that regardless of anything you have EVER done, you never deserve to feel like you are unimportant, unloved, or unworthy. Mistakes get made, and some people never get that. But you know what? At the end – or whatever time suits you- of the day, you’ve got to tell the haters to back the hell off. Why? Because you’re fricken’ magical and anybody who tries to hurt you sucks. They suck more than I suck at combing my hair. THAT’S A LOT OF SUCK.

I think that so many people forget how much life there is in them when the life around them gets shitty. That’s not very beautifully phrased, but I can’t think of a better way to say it at 11:42 PM. Look, what I meant to say through this letter is that you should believe in your magic. God damn, I believe in your magic. I believe in my magic. This is rare, because for me, believing in myself is a hard thing. I have 35-ish days before I head into my final year of high school, and I’m going to try my darndest to believe in and act on my magic. The magic is real, people. The magic is your dream of going to the sea by yourself, your first mirror selfie, the second CD that you bought and the feeling that you get when you scream. That’s magic.

Believe in yourself and have a time while there is time.

With Magic,

Scoot X