monthly me | march ’18

in march, i got pretty low and then pretty high. i did some travelling, went out of my way to meet new people, fell in love, and tried to cry less. i cried a lot, but i definitely cried less than i could have. march madness is over, and here’s what’s left. welcome to what was, my friends!

so, march. march houses three birthdays in my family – please note that i’m avoiding a paper by writing this instead – and i missed them all thanks to a lovely little thing called the ocean. it was hard not being around for my mom’s 50th, but it was lovely to have been called in during the party. what else happened in march? jeez, the year is flying. there is a boy who i hope will be around for the longest of times. i do love him so. what else? march was the first month i ended without a roommate, and that was okay. the isolation that comes with being called crazy, not so much. i got pretty low, but lord knows that all it takes sometimes is a little chemistry play and an updose to fix a little dark patch. forever grateful to abilify and the work it does on my brain.

quick talk about how open i am about my brain: there is nothing to hide. i am still somewhat ashamed of how mental illness affects me – which is uh. a lot. it affects me a lot. – but i am trying not to be because…bitch, it’s literally not my fault. there is nothing i can do about it but continue to do all i am doing. i am doing my best and it has to be enough. sharing my mental health journey seems to come naturally to me because i’m a talker, and if i don’t talk about the big things in my life, well. well. anyway, i do. so. i’m gonna. that’s all.

music madness

i tried living without you but you’re my vice

hey, guys, i’ve got something on my mind
tick tock, can you take it for a while?

until love came in on time

snippets of internal monologue

  • wow i’m really just not going to graduate. wow. okay.
  • hey buddy, everything is on fire
  • mmmmmm, baby, isolate me harder
  • how do you say “crystal ball frapp = gross peach milk” without saying that?
  • californiaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

my friends, march is over and somehow the year is flying by in a way i didn’t expect it to. i can’t tell you why i didn’t think it would. i’m trying to save the semester at the moment and oh, oh. the toll it is taking is huge.

in any case, i’m still here. another month, another march.

love and light,
shalom xo

monthly me | december ’17

I did it! A consistent feature every month. Look at that!

December is over and it was a really good way to close out 2017. Onwards!

 

december

I mean, whoa. In December I did so much that I can barely remember it all in the best way. i’m not even sure where to start this post because this last month has been so very 2017 in nature that I’m mostly just grateful to the universe that  I made it this far in one very awed piece.

The month started with my first trip to Princeton, which saw me coming back home with roller blades that I definitely cannot use and do not use. They were free, okay. (I need to get rid of them.) It was a lovely trip, followed by a photoshoot a few days later which taught me that I am not photogenic. No sir. I am a difficult photo subject because my face has approximately seven million expressions and also I’m awkward. So that was, uh. Fun. On the plus side, about seven of the 100 photos came out okay and have now replaced the old ones on my about page!

The weekend after is still unparalleled. I organized for Shoobies to go up to Boston to do an in studio recording at a radio station, and oh did we go. I just… I don’t really have words for how incredible that trip was, but Casey – lead singer, you’ve seen him here before – keeps calling it cinematic. He’s a writer too, so I think you can all trust his words. Word. Anyway, Boston was a movie and I can’t explain it any better.

What else? I’m the manager of a band now, I’m going to England next year, I have no money for my trip to England next year, I’m in Boston right now, I’m going to a wedding next week, snow is cold and stays forever, everything is icy, and I’m happy. I’m really alright, my dudes. Sure, this weather keeps my lips looking so chapped that Blistex is gonna invite me to take out stocks with how much I buy pretty soon, but I am doing rather well, and that’s aces.

I did royally screw up my hair and doctor’s appointments but I mean. Eh.

tunez & vidz

how come every outcome’s such a comedown?

this is the greatest and best song in the world…tribute.

she said WHAT and i told her that i didn’t know

little loves

  • That hotel lobby in Boston where I couldn’t feel my face
  • Coffee in the snow
  • Going to the beach in winter
  • Realizing that it’s been worth it

snippets of internal monologue

  • permission to call all forces in to stop a very stupid action? please?
  • coffee in the snow is iced coffee, shalom, duh
  • oh honey. connecticut is a no go.
  • we love a dance party!

I am currently being attacked by a viral infection that is threatening to take me out, TKO style. However, 2018 is looking bright. Far better than 2017 was looking when I was standing in 2016. Bless.

love and light,
shalom xo

monthly me | october ’17

and is it worth the risk
just to crash your car for the sound of it?

hannah, coin

Bottomless void and friends, it’s the end! Of October, I mean. October is over. What happened this month? This is a fun one to write because I spent most of this month manic and/or dissociating. Still, I made it to the end of it and so did you, and we’re all here so we may as well experience this experiment in oversharing and overdocumenting together.

from the camera roll

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october

If you’ve read any of the all two (wow Shalom calls herself a writer but never writes Obisie-Orlu) posts I got up in the last month, you’ll know that I am currently coming down from the longest manic episode of my life. It’s been a lot of stress and confusion and dissociating, but it’s been okay because I survived it. Someday, I’ll write about the shit, but first I must survive it. I survived October!

Class is happening and university is happening, again. I’ve settled in okay, and I have some really good people in my corner in terms of where I live. Demarest Hall (shoutout Junot Diaz – he lived there) is full of freaks and geeks and a couple of gross frat bros, but its mostly just people who were lucky enough to meet their people there. It’s been nice living in a space that’s just art. I don’t know if that makes sense, but that’s what I have to say about Demarest.

I managed to write some good poetry this month, and got a couple of articles in re freelance because I’m a writer. My anxiety is a big mess and I haven’t collected my last paycheck from my old job (you know the one that I was excited about and then got fired from? That’s the one.) even though I could very much use the $100.

My letters from Dora arrived and I spent an afternoon reading them and sobbing (see last camera roll photo) because I have so much love for that woman. Wow. Actually, here’s something:

dora

  • What an encourager, what a woman.
  • WISE. My owl friend.
  • God, I am so privileged to call her friend.
  • Such a knack for photographing and reviewing good spots? I wish I was good at that? I am so glad that she is?!
  • Truly a lover and a fighter. Kindred spirits, me and Dora. Goodness me, do I love her.

What else have I got for this month? I got terribly ill. I’m on the mend but I was so sick it was a problem. I’ve been having a bit of more of an identity crisis than usual but mostly because of my accent. You know the voice in your head? The one that sounds like you. In my head, I sound somewhat English. Not entirely, but somewhat. When I’m with my mom and siblings, I have a mix of that accent, an American accent my entire family has, and then some of my parents’ Nigerian accent as a mixer for the whole thing. While I’ve been here without my siblings, I’ve just sounded very English, and I fear that I’m a fraud for it. I know I’m not, because it’s not a conscious choice really – I’m just trying to hold onto a bit of myself while here. Has this little bit of a waffle made any sense? We’ll never know.

tunez

I went to shows this month! The big one was the LANY concert in New York which was stupendifyingly good, but I also went to a basement show that introduced me to probably my favourite band at the moment. Anyway here are the tunez okay good on with it!

shoobies

i’m an antisocial socialite; your mother says “you’re so polite” – it’s disgusting

Easy new fave. Easy. I saw them at a basement show in New Brunswick in mid-October and while they put on a really good show (even without their guitarist) I was more shook by the lyrics? Apart from the fact that they did the thing where lyrics carry meaning if you listen twice but the music accompanying it is so good you can enjoy it in passing, the lyrics are so clever and I am so impressed? It may be because I noticed my writing style in they lyrics, or because “skinny lovin’, what’s your style?” made me want to make stuff, but Shoobies lyrics are 9/10.

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site: shoobiesnj.com
instagram: @shoobiesnj

they say we’re going to hell, let’s find a cheap motel and stay a couple nights

we’ll connect eventually if you stay you and i change me

and if i play this every morning and time my stepping out of the door with the guitar? none of you will have anything to say about it.

snippets of internal monologue

  • Look, if you’re actually crazy on paper then can you just say yes? Are you mad?Clinically, Janet, yes.
  • For Halloween I am…what is this? Corset girl?
  • Shut your mouth Shalom “my-eyebrows-are-eyeshadow” Obisie-Orlu. You just stop.
  • Uh, if I get approached by the police, I’ll just tell them I’m dead. Sorry! Can’t arrest a dead gal! Happy Halloween!

until the next, dear friends.

love and light,
shalom xo

 

monthly me | september ’17

when your heart was open wide,
and you loved things just because
like the sick and the dying

– rilo kiley

Hey gang. No exclamation points here but I am here and I have returned for the only thing in my life that is consistent. Are you well?

from the camera roll

september

September, in truth, was my first full month in America. It’s been a lot.

This month, I (officially) started uni. Again. It’s been a strange time, because despite my having done this “wow so new!” thing before, I’m doing it on a different continent. It makes for interesting character development to say the least. I’m living in a dorm for the first time, because I definitely did not do that last year. Several of my two-days-straight-without-moving-from-bed days would have been made infinitely less possible with a roommate like 50 other people on the floor.

I’ve done a lot of watching, to tell you the truth. After my trip to New York and the UN (a really, really good time) I moved in and started class. I’m a little upset at how juvenile things are. The uni classes have been like a slap in the face – that is, they slapped me back to high school. Like, homework and attendance and participation points? Where am I? Is 2013 Shalom okay? Not to negate the upstanding nature of the university or anything, it’s just that it’s a little bit of a backwards shock after last year’s uh. Year.

Teenagers are in love and it’s both revolting and heartwarming to watch. Really, by the second week of class, there were about five or six couplings that happened within the dorm. I’ve grown tired of people meaning well and telling me, “you’ll find someone”. How many times can I flick a recent high school graduate on the nose and yell, “DID I ASK?” in my head? Every day, the number rises. Stay tuned for updates.

I’m not a sour Sally about people being happy. I could never be – I thrive on happiness, especially that of others. It’s part of my “give too much of myself and try to fill the space with positive reactions from others” complex. I’m worried about how it’ll mess up our dynamic as a family (because our hall is a family – I’m the mom. It’s fitting.) if things go south.

That said, the community I live with is lovely. The RAs are lovely, my roommate is lovely, the boys who live next door and ask me to use a bowl when they’ve run out are lovely. There are a lot of Cancerians on the floor – something like 9? Maybe that’s responsible for the vibe.

My brain, she’s trying. I had a follow up appointment with psychiatric services on Friday that I did not go to, but we all know I should have – myself included. I don’t know. I’m currently manic, and I’m a bit worried about myself. I wish I could stop thinking that everyone actually just puts up with me. I wish my hair didn’t make me so dysphoric. I also wish I had money and didn’t get fired, but here we are. Thanks, September.

tunes & vids

but the lows are so extreme that the good seems fucking cheap
and it teases you for weeks in its absence

when you outgrow a lover / the whole world knows but you

put on your makeup, i laid out your favourite sweater
it’s just a number darling, dry your eyes

doilooklikeimleftoffbadandboujee?

other loves

  • “Bet you rue the day you kissed a writer in the dark.” – I bet you do.
  • I read some very good fics this month. I should text Chyanne about them.
  • Beanby! We have a beanbag chair. He’s called beanby, and he’s been home to many a cry time. A good boy, a kind boy.
  • My drama teacher sent me a message saying she’s proud of me, and I haven’t opened the message because I look at it every day. (Thank you, Meghan.)

 

snippets of internal monologue

  • how much can i actually twist until i pretzel?
  • i can feel the blood moving in my veins. what is this? am i becoming something else?
  • narrator: manic. she was becoming manic.
  • i just want to not be uncomfortable with the things that everyone is happy about and that i am happy about but can’t process because brain oh BRAIN
  • i’d be a good thanksgiving sacrifice. not a lot of meat though, all the gross fatty bits.

It’s almost after one. I haven’t eaten or gotten any of the very pressing work I should have gotten done, done. I’d appreciate an injection of clarity and non-impulse filled motivation, because that gets my shit rocked. Really.

love and light,
shalom xo

monthly me | august ’17

The others can believe what they like, but I don’t believe for a second that this is the real August and the other an aberration.
And yet,  I can see how they might be fooled —

~ Sara Gruen, Water for Elephants

August happened. Is still happening, as I write this. I’m reminded that this time last year was the first time I made one of these Monthly Me posts. It’s a bit strange now, when I look back on that August. Somehow, “I don’t believe for a second that this is the real August.” It sounds silly, or obscure at best, but it does the job when I’m looking for a descriptor for my feelings. In any case, August.

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Right. To begin, August has gone both agonisingly slowly and astoundingly quickly. The month began on a hill with my dear, Yasmin – who you may have become rather well acquainted with due to my frequent mentions of her and me being complete jokes singing Mary Lambert into the void and laughing about free unsweetened coffee and Macklemore. On August 5th, I began a 35 hour journey from home to new home-ish. It gets dark much later than I’m used to here, and I find myself confused at 7:30 PM because my brain and body thinks it’s 5 PM latest.

I had my parental parties with me for a week here, and I mostly just slept and went to Walmart. American shops are strange. Why are vegetables so expensive here? Systematic obesity, that’s why. All the things are crazy big here and wastefulness is terribly inherent. Except, people make a big deal of recycling. A very big deal.

My university is a goodie. By the time this is published, I’ll have moved in and just completed my leadership and advocacy program. I will also probably be crying or almost crying about near everything. I am, per usual, desperately unprepared for everything and frantically planning what little finances I have. I am, however, the newest employee of the Barnes and Noble on my campus! The things are happening and while I’m mostly terrified about everything, I’m okay with it.

SOPHIA IS GREAT. I finally met my roommate who I’d been talking to for five months prior, and our dynamic is just as good as it was over the internet, and infinitely better than the best that I could have hoped for in person. I spent the last two and a half weeks of the month in a sublet with some lovely housemates and one hell of a cat. Nalu is a mission but also a miracle. I love that boy.

August held such strange promise for me at the beginning of the year. I want to say, “Look! So much has changed!” but the biggest shift has been one of location, and despite flying for forever, the ground underneath my feet is still steady. I got here. It took a lot, and is still taking a lot, but I got here. And I got a job at the coolest cafe. And I have the coolest girl for my roommate and soul sister and forever friend. And I lived with the coolest cat for two weeks. I’m trying to stay ahead, but I’m gonna give ahead a slip and try for fully alive.

 

tunes n vids

the weather may be stormy, but the road is still before me
so pedal to the metal and drive

it could be weird, but i think i’m into it
you know i’m one for the overly passionate

oh, my heart hurts so good
i love you babe, so bad, so bad

oh, good god. this is a lot.

 

buncha other loves

  • My housemates upstairs and the stellar lil dinner we had the other night! Preston and Rachel, y’all are gems.
  • Nalu, my cat that’s not my cat.
  • Luna! My new electric-acoustic ukulele! Y’all! Life!
  • Uh, the new Kingsman II trailer. HELLO. EGGSY HELLO. HARRY’S BACK.

eggsy: we’ve got the brains, skills…skipping rope?

 

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snippets of internal monologue

  • 3 feet? That’s half a man!
  • Nobody. Has. Kettles.
  • Okay, this tax thing is getting stupid. This is stupid. I’m tired.
  • I don’t think I’ll ever read Neruda without feeling feeling again. Shalom,.the fic wasn’t even that emotional! Please girl. Get a grip. Tell Chyanne about it.
  • OOOH ground SWALLOW ME UP just like that!!!

 

That’s it done. That’s August, done. Do you mean to tell me that the end of the year is stealthily approaching and that I’m ignoring it? Well, I could have told you that.

love and light,
shalom xo

monthly me| may ’17

May: the lilacs are in bloom. Forget yourself.

I gotta get this post up today. I have this rule that if the 5th of the month passes and I don’t have a “monthly me” up, then the month is cancelled. Now, I don’t do well with the passing of time in general, much less the cancellation of an entire month. So, without further ado: May.

May was… intense. I think. A lot of time blurs into itself if you spend enough time thinking about how we abstractly separate it.  In May I joined a gym and started a lifting guide, and have been told off three times now by the same trainer. He has this idea that I care about whether he thinks I’m too muscly. (I don’t care.) I’m working out and enjoying it for the most part, though the hardest part is talking to my brain and trying to stay in a healthy mindset rather than slipping back into my disordered eating mindset. Granted weight restored doesn’t mean brain recovered and it’s a process, but I wish it were easier.

In May my friend got married! MARRIED! Their wedding photos are incredible and I’m mad at this much ocean between continents that stopped me from going. Congrats to the newlyweds who are now #HappilyHoisted.

This month I received the stellar news that I’m going to roughly $100k in debt once I graduate. It’s hilarious. Can you feel my laughter? SO much laughter. I’m mostly laughing because I thought I was going to start my life off debt free, but when the controller of your life, apparently, decides that you will and must suffer, you will and do suffer. Litty titty. It’s ridiculous as hell and I can’t really talk about what’s going on on here anymore (because of uh, wandering eyes [yikes amirite]) so I’m doomed to mostly maniacal laughter and dangerous thoughts and rants to my roommate.

May. What else? I spent a lot of time in Starbucks and Mugg & Bean (you know Starbucks, M&B is a South African coffee chain that does all day breakfast and some good wine) and have come to the shocking conclusion that the year I have spent out of school has drastically reduced my caffeine tolerance. I got dizzy and shivery after a latte – a latte! It’s mostly milk! – and had to drink maybe 3 glasses of water before I stopped shaking like a leaf.

Aah, yes. BEDIM! Needless to say, I didn’t exactly complete BEDIM. I got (if I counted correctly) 15 posts up last month and had a lot of ideas but also had a lot of depression naps. I’m gonna try a post-a-day program soon again. Maybe for NaBloPoMo? WHO KNOWS. Will we even be alive by November? Will I have died from the crippling pressure of impending debt? WHO. KNOWS. MY DUDES.

tunes n vids

these memories are nothing to me / they’re just salt in the wound

sav brown is one of my biggest writing inspirations and also her voice is maybe the most calming thing i have ever heard.

maybe the most ‘me’ title to ever exist? | we’ve never met but, can we have a coffee or something?

Snippets of internal monologue

  • This is funny. What else is funny? Perhaps my death? The coming of the Lord? My death?
  • YASMIN AND I, WE WILL FOREVER BE JOKES. I AM A JOKE.
  • Girl, add them to your do not text list. You cannot be talking to people who leave you broke AND upset!

May: the lilacs are in bloom. Forget yourself.

love and light,
shalom xo

featured image from death to stock

monthly me | april ’17

Well, let it pass, he thought; April is over, April is over. There are all kinds of love in the world, but never the same love twice.

– F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Sensible Thing

I’ll probably start every post near the end of April or the beginning of May with this quote. I love it a whole lot, and every time I read it I’m reminded of the same things and a million things I hadn’t thought of in a while. Anyway, April is over! April is over, and I have had a better month than I thought I would.

from the camera roll

 

tunes + vids

this is one of the funniest videos i have seen in a really long time, and i can’t tell you why. i love it a ridiculous amount. thank you hank green.

april has been…

April has been better. I came out of March feeling very hazy, and I’m feeling a little better coming out of April. To be honest, I’m feeling a lot better. I’ve settled into a groove of being more okay with being as alone as I am. I’ve found that isolation means saving money, and I’m ending off the month with a positive bank balance for the first time since…ever? I like the church I’m at now. I like the focus of love, I like the sincerity of the people, I like the way it’s not commercialised, and I like that there are no isolating judgements. People are people, and loving them is what I do and it’s all good.

I’m feeling very okay – not phenomenally excellent, or particularly horrid. Just okay. Very okay. April has been too much and enough – the precarious balance that I long and live for. My brain is easing into itsng in love with every person I meet is the biggest strength and weakness that I have, but I’m easing into that too.

obsessions

  • Holiday Club 2017! Holiday club was the most fun & exhausting & rewarding week I’ve had in a long time. Spending a week with 150 kids and getting to watch them just be was incredible. There was so much love going around, and so much ice cream on Friday.  Too much ice cream.
  • Re-watching seasons 1-3 of New Girl. Oh my GOD. I mentioned how I’ve spent a lot of time noticing where my mannerisms come from, and the answer for the majority of them is season 1 & 2 Nick Miller. I didn’t realise how much I picked up from New Girl until I did this rewatch. It is madness – from the way Schmidt shortens words to the way Nick moonwalks away from situations and says things are the opposite of what he wants, there is a fundamental part of 2012 Shalom that owes herself to New Girl on Fox.
  • Nerdwriter episodes are quickly becoming some of my favourite things on the internet. I adore the video essay format, I adore the thinking behind each episode, I adore the content… I love it. I recommend watching a couple of them. (Also, watch The Prestige.)

Today there is a Harry Potter quiz with spaces that are near impossible to get, and I snagged a table for six. I am EXCITED. Today also marks the start of BEDIM, my newest project. BEDIM stands for a blog every day in May, and I’m ready to be creatively juiced by the end of it. The end of April also marks the two and a half month mark until I leave South Africa, and I’m hoping that anxiety can override the birthday anxiety. Issa lot.

Say it in your mind until you know that the words are right. This is how we fight.

Thanks, April. It is well.

love and light,
shalom xo

monthly me | february ’17

February is done (what?) and the last two posts have been incredibly depressing (expected?) and this is about to be a recap of the month in which I managed to get the least amount of stuff done. Ever.

february was…

quick. Too quick. I sent out 19 job applications and got 19 rejections (I’m fairly certain I’m setting up some sort of rejection record here), went thrift shopping and bought a jacket that will change my life when I wear it (I’m certain), and started a workout routine that I stopped soon after. I went to a Pretoria party and will not be doing so again. No sir. No thank you kind fellows. I had a lot of pancake breakfasts at 3pm and turned my sleep schedule so far inside out that I’m on the time schedule of someone who lives in California. I live in GMT+2. I sleep in GMT-8. I need to fix that.

edit: i also had my first breakout in my life. ever. it was a LOT. it’s still ongoing and for the first time in ever, there are pimples that should be paying rent on my forehead. dammit. just when i thought i had one thing going for me.

music

i have no fave lyrics from this. i just really love this song and chance the rapper. ASHENEEDEWASUM

this guy wants you but ONLY WITH YOUR CONSENT (please play this everywhere omg)

when you’re broken on the ground, you will be found

obsessions

  • Chance the Rapper’s verse in The Way by Kehlani
  • MOOCs from EdX & Coursera – I did a bunch of these in Psychology and Sociology before going to uni & they helped me out a bunch. So here I am, once again, learning something else for free. I love the internet.
  • This post from Mich – she’s a phenomenal writer and has a blog that’s just as wonderous. “Good night, Dr. John; you are good, you are beautiful; but you are not mine.

snippets of internal monologue

  • What if Trump destroys the world and then steals taxpayers money like he always does and then travels to one of the new planets?
  • Que in French and que in spanish Spanish sound very different and very obnoxious to be spelled the same.
  • If I cut my hair — no, I won’t cut my hair. But I want to cut my — no, mom wants me to cut my hair. But if (continue for three hours.)

The rest of this month was mostly memes and botched French practice. I got into college though! Yes, that’s fairly massive. I got into Rutgers University and it’s all kinds of exciting. I mean, I hope it will be.

The first week of March is almost through. The rest of 2017 awaits.  (thank goodness.)

love & light,
shalom xo

monthly me | october 2016

I’m a little shocked that it’s already November, but mostly relieved that this hellhole of a year is coming to a close. October was treacherous, and filled with work and being broke and protests and stress and anticipation and love and sadness and pride. Also, my laptop broke, and I haven’t managed to have her fixed. So. October.

from the camera roll

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walk home from the bus ft. sunset. #blessed

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bless you, picnics and popsicles

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joburg pride ’16

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picnic with high school friends and new friends and a massive afternoon of love.

october

I spent most of October trying to find out what I mean to the people who mean the world to me. I took myself out a couple of times and paid up my outstanding amount on my flight to Lisbon! I’ve been preoccupied with the Portuguese city because I’m headed there in TWO WEEKS and cannot wait. Joburg Pride was amazing, and the solidarity was ridiculously awesome. There was so much love in the sapce. I also considered whether I was falling in love or whether I just wanted to squeeze my friends really tight and tell them I adore them – the latter was correct. October also saw me being faced with literally life-changing decisions with regards to my moving from South Africa, and making split second choices over coffee. I think I’ve made the right one.

obsessions

Not to Disappear is one of the best albums of 2016 – I got it the day of release, and I’m still listening to it. This song, and Made of Stone have been on repeat this month (along with the entire album). Fave lyrics: I don’t know you now but I’m lying here somehow; I feel sick (Fossa); You’ll find love, kid; it exists (Made of Stone).

still i pledge allegiance to these UNITED DIVIDED STATES
things that make me patriotic: voting in this election and leslie odom jr and sara bareilles and broadway and theatre and talent and barack obama

snippets of internal monologue

  • I really don’t think I can do this job anymore. I might yell at this kid. LORD. PATIENCE PLEASE.
  • I am SO buying that underwear. Trap liiiiife!
  • Wait, does that mean I have to organise a farewell party? Oh man oh man oh
  • If I fail intro to law can I put an end to this intro to suffering?
  • SHALOM. YOU DON’T HAVE MONEY. HOE DON’T DO IT. HOE, DON’T YOU DO IT. OH MY GOD YOU’RE DOING IT?

November hasn’t started off on the best note – I was robbed for the 5th time this year on the 3rd, and I’m currently a panicky mess about my exams and my travel plans and my future. It’s not all bad though – breathing hasn’t become any more difficult or easy. That, I can deal with.

love and light,
shalom xo