off balance|connect

kendrick6

Same, Kanye.

Okay, so maybe I’m a little bit of a wreck.

Greetings, amigos! While completely missing the fact that it is already the 2nd of July, I managed to almost procrastinate my way into oblivion. I managed to remember that today is not Wednesday, and that I somehow missed roughly nineteen hours. I have no idea how, but I am THOROUGHLY off balance.

Now, there’s something about being completely disconnected from the rest of everything for a while, even if you’re not sure how it happened. In case you were wondering, the NaBloPoMo theme is still connect. Not “recount-your-unimpressive-time-management-woes”.

Being detached makes you -makes me- evaluate things. In a flurry of panic, I tend to have these out of body experiences, in which I’m not involved in the chaos at all – just an observer. I see everything happening, and I guess the powerlessness I experience connects me to the chaos in some way. It’s not an impressive thought or statement – it’s just that not being involved in the craziness while seeing or otherwise experiencing  the craziness is enough to make one part of it.

This has been rambly. Rambly typing while shaking and rambly loud HOW DO I HAVE A DRESS APPOINTMENT TOMORROW thoughts.

Excuse me while I eat cheese curls and marvel at my own inefficiency, because I’ve procrastinated myself into too much of a panic to fix any of the terrible mistakes I’ve made by somehow skipping June 30th. The only thing (probably) that’s going to get me through this is the ridiculously loud volume at which Centuries à la Fall Out Boy is playing in my ears. Bless you, Patrick Stump.

yours,
shalom x

Update on the things ❄

Hello, Internet!

That was a direct danisnotonfire reference if you were wondering at all. As you can see, my posting schedule has gone out of the window. So has my birthday money, my razors, my eating habits, my exercise plan, my job opportunities, my internet connection and my cellphone charger.

My new (old) school is going great!

Seriously though, it’s not the school that’s making stuff go out of the window. It’s not great, and it’s not really good either,but I’m mentally alright-ish. I’m also talking to Jessica again (teenage girls have weird fallout and are now speaking again yay) and that’s not bad. However, in other news:

I ONLY HAVE 7 DAYS OF HAPPINESS LEFT!

If you have been visiting this here blog, or if you follow me on instagram, you’ll know that I’m talking about the 100 Happy Days challenge that I took. For me, it’s unbelievable that I’ve come so far and haven’t yet quit. Also, how quickly these days go past. I remember that on the 26th of May, I had a history test that I missed because I came home sick (thank the Lord because I was actually nowhere near ready for that) and then I started the challenge. 93 days later, here I am.

Am I extremely overjoyed yet? No. But I have done some awesome things in the couple of months that I’ve been taking this challenge. I’ve gotten a ride from a stranger who turned out not be a serial killer but the turned out to be equally as dangerous when he added me on Facebook (praise for privacy settings), I’ve fed a homeless person, I’ve done a ballet ‘photoshoot’, I’ve met amazing people, I’ve organised a matric dance (prom for you internationals), and I’ve gotten in more trouble than I can imagine. Do I regret anything? Possibly not taking more pictures, but otherwise, no. Am I happy yet? Well, ask me again in a week, won’t you?

In terms of my series, it’s actually going well! I’m still doing interviews and I’ll put them up whenever I can get the motivation to. As for right now, I have tonnes of work to do and a table to organise, as you can see. So I’ve got to be on my way. Thanks for bothering to read this, and I’m glad that I could possibly spread some of my procrastination on you! Remember that you as a being have a possibility for greatness that is both heart-stopping and immense.

Hide from all the things!

Hide from all the things!

See ya later, internet-gator. (is that a thing?)

-Scoot xx

Scoot on ~ introvertedness and seemingly meaningless chitter chatter

Oh, hello there! You, with the face? Unless you don’t have a face, that’d be awkward – but still! Come one, come all to the Scoot’s gonna fail her maths final and is back to her blog after 3 weeks party!

I have missed this. Not the heat from my laptop dangerously warming le thighs, but this, this platform. I guess I’m back partially because I’m procrastinating, and because Jess updated today, and also because I met one of my followers last weekend! She’s twelve years old and asked me to write something for her, so I guess this is for you Alenshka! Not this specifically but this in general…you get what I mean x_x

So I have a tendency of blabbering on about nothing while valuable people make meaningful contributions to society, and also to those of us who live on the internet and make no meaningful  contribution to society. I blabber a lot. In Afrikaans, I’d be called a babbelkous . Regardless, I like to blabber. I like to talk too much and yell a lot and get yelled at for talking too much and yelling to loud and causing a general ruckus…okay, maybe less than I thought.

I’ve always wondered what it would be like to be introverted. I guess for the first couple of years in my life in school, I was introverted. I used to love hearing what people had to say, I used to need time alone to regroup, I used to take great pleasure in teaching other people things I’d read, counting people ahead of me, observing behaviour, and having conversations with myself.

Funnily enough, nothing’s changed. Though if you ask anybody who thinks that he or she knows me, you’ll learn that introvert is often the absolute opposite-last-world-ended-all-dictionaries-destroyed-no-more-words-crazy-dilemma-we’re-all-secretly-dead word to describe me.

I’m crazy loud. I know, it get’s to people’s ears, and sometimes to the people themselves, but what can I do? I like to talk, I like to sing, I like to live most days! And with good reason, I mean I think it’s pretty amazing that one day you weren’t even thought of, and in the next ten years you’re fighting with your parents. Okay, perhaps not the best example, but still: life is insane, and totally harsh and ridiculous, but lovely nonetheless. (Sorry about the bold. I love that word. Nonetheless. Eep!)

Back to my struggle of intro-extra-upside-topsy-turvy-vertedness, I don’t really know what I am. I don’t know what makes me not introverted, apart from the fact that I love people, and I love to be around them. Okay, so maybe I know. I guess I’m just not willing to accept the label of ‘extrovert’ for some strange reason. I’ve always hated labels. Somebody puts you in a box and it takes a really long to get out. And once you finally do, you’re put in another box, and another, until you finally break out of all these boxes, only to be put inside one inside the ground.

Anyway, that’s really all I have to say today. I have to study, though I’d much rather go outside. It’s drizzling, you know those pathetic little storms that keep rumbling on with their thunder, and tease about with their periodical raindrops? That kind.

I’m glad you read this, because if you do, it means that you can read. And some people can’t. And no, I’m not saying that because I live in Africa: I’m saying that because I appreciate reading, and because you should too.

You’re fabulous. And you’d probably think that’s obligatory for me to say, but it’s not. I genuinely think so – I mean, you read this far.

All my love, all the time

-Scoot xx

Scoot on ~ consistency and procastiation

Okay, so I’m not the most consistent person out there.

I apologise profusely for my lack of posting over the past week or so, I’ve just been super busy with a big programming project. As you may guess, it’s important…therefore I should be working on it. But instead I’m here, ready to ramble on about something new that’s plagued me.

I have a problem called procrastination.

I know, we all do. But sometimes, there is need for an intervention. Like me for example. In preparation for finals in 2 weeks, I’ve been frantically making study notes that are illegible and to anyone but myself. I’ve also taken to leaving my study notes in the following format:

*writes title*…*draws flower*…*labels flower The Flower Of Procrastination *…*closes study book*

This is what I’ve been doing. I guess I’m not at the stage where I tie a towel around my neck and run around yelling “Pale Pixie to the rescue” like my friend Jess. Because that’s exactly what she did during mid-year exams.

I guess I understand the point of exams: to test knowledge gained throughout the year. But surely it’s a test of willpower as well? I mean, it’s like a giant competition: Who has enough willpower to cancel all plans, avoid the internet and study their ass off? I think that I should be allowed to refuse this willpower test. I mean, Jess & I are vegetarians — willpower much? MUCH.

It pays off. Eventually, I suppose. You see, some of it doesn’t though. CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHERE I’M GOING TO USE TRIGONOMETRY? Honest to everything, I type this with an exasperated rage as I download extra trig notes. Believe me, I don’t make claims without doing my research: I did! If you want to use trig when you grow up, “Become a plumber,” my math teacher once said.

A plumber? Seriously?

I don’t know why these things exist, or why I keep having random OH MY GOD EXAMS ARE IN TWO WEEKS AND MY PROGRAMMING IS DUE NEXT MONDAY WHY IS LIFE SO DIFFICULT WHAT WHY IS THIS EVEN HAPPENING panic outbursts.

Life is getting too hard. I just want to stop and be  a cat, or a penguin, with no social responsibility except to be adorable and be loved by everyone.

Keep shining now. 🙂

All my love all the time,

-Scoot xx